What Are We Thinking?

I was talking to a friend and he shared a story with me that causes so many thoughts and emotions that I thought I would share it here and see what everyone else thinks.

Three years ago he discovered that his wife had cheated on him, with someone he knew. Now I am not a close personal friend of his wife so I don't know what was going on there, but I was around him at the time and he talked about it and it devastated him.

Apparently he talked about that with other people we knew and a friendship with another woman that we both knew bloomed.

According to him this friendship became an affair and lasted for several years. Behind his wife and her husband's backs. Well somehow his wife discovered what was going on and as you can imagine it caused a lot of problems for them. So they split up, in the meantime she has told her husband that this guy is stalking her, I can only assume to cover in case he hears something.

So my friend thinks he is in love with this woman, he is separated from his wife and his children are mad at him.


He tells her he wants to be with her and try to build a relationship, I don't know why at this point but whatever, She tells him she is seeing someone else. What? There is now a third man in the mix and she wants to have my friend on the side like they have done for the past three years because it has been great. Huh? He said it hasn't been great for him he has been miserable. She tells him that he's weak. Fast forward a couple of weeks.

Two marriages and now another relationship, they aren't even together. He is miserable doesn't have his wife or his girlfriend. I have not discussed this with her. I don't know her side, I can't imagine that she is any happier with the outcome. So what was the past three years?

I am in no way judging either of them I have been in situations where I did not make great decisions. I have also been in situations where the decisions I made should have been made sooner. So no judgement just observation from some one guilty of the same human flaws. I just want to ask why do we pile so much emotional baggage on to ourselves what are we thinking?